Totally a Teacher

So this afternoon I had a laser hair removal appointment (thank you LivingSocial/Groupon!). It was out in Vienna, which is about 10 miles from where I live. Now I know that 10 miles doesn't sound too far away, but in this area going just a measly 10 miles can take over an hour because traffic is terrible. But I just happened to also have another LivingSocial/Groupon for Nielsen's Frozen Custard. Yum! Yes, it is the same as in Salt Lake! A branch of the family lives out here and opened one in Vienna. It was perfect. I did laser hair and then headed down the street to Nielsen's ordered a tasty turkey avacado sandwich and a single cone with caramel concrete (it was the flavor of the day, and it was delicious). So just like the Nielsen's in SLC, it is pretty much run by high school students--no adults in sight. But they do a great job and are very friendly. (I know this story may be getting long, but don't worry, I am getting to the point.) There is a high school a little bit further down street--James Madison High School. I interviewed for a position there and was in the top-two, but the other candidate had his National Board certification and several years more teaching experience than I did--no way for me to even compete with that. But anyway, I was chatting it up with the friendly high school boys working at Nielsen's. Talking about school and they asked me what I taught and so we talked about English. One of them is in AP English and has a big literary terminology test tomorrow. Well it so happens that I am teaching literary devices tomorrow with my students. We are going to listen to songs and pick out examples of literary devices and then I'm going to have my students find songs on their own that use literary devices. (Cool, I know.) So I'm telling the kid at Nielsen's all about my lesson plan for tomorrow and he is of course thinking I am the coolest English teacher ever and so wishing I was working at his school. But then the ultimate teacher in me comes out. Not only do I tell him a couple of the songs I am using: "Grenade" by Bruno Mars for hyperbole, because the whole song is a hyperbole if I ever heard one. No one is going to be catching a grenade for anyone. And then when I told him that I'm using Nelly Furtado's song "I'm Like a Bird," I asked him, "What literary device is that? -- I'm like a bird?" And with only a slight hesitation he replied, "Oh, simile." Yes. Yes it is. Good work Nielsen's boy. You're going to do great on your test. And you can thank me for totally being a teacher and quizzing you on literary devices while you're at work.